Love is an ACTION Word

I just want to start by saying that this is written from frustrations and sadness. I look around and I see marriages broken, families fractured all because we have changed love from an action into a feeling. We, as a society, have forgotten the parts of the vows that say "for better or worse". I recently heard one woman say that the reason for leaving her marriage was because shes "didn't feel passion" for her husband any more...... WHAT!? This isn't what the Bible tells us! But besides being frustrated, I'm broken hearted. So many broken hearts, dreams and family's because of this "love"ly lie. So any ways. Here is my view on the matter.

We all know 1 Corinthians 13: 4-7. Paul lays out for us the traits of love; Patients, kindness, it does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. It does not fail.

 All of these traits are not things that we as humans cant fully accomplish on our own. Paul here isn’t describing how he feels about a Woman, or what he is hoping for in an earthly relationship some day. He is telling us about the perfect love of our Savior. A love that He fills us with and we are able to exhibit once we are filled with the Holy Spirit. This is important because without a Christ kind of love it is impossible to forgive, submit, lead, be selfless, ect.

 Its important as we talk about marriage to look at love from a Biblical perspective. We live in a culture that has confused Lust with Love, a culture that has made Love an emotion. When we look at 1 Corinthians 13 we see that love does things, love is an action.

 We want so desperately to have “passion” and “butterflies” when the reality is that those things are fleeting and fit more soundly under the heading of “lust”. Don’t get me wrong! It is good to lust after you SPOUSE, but it is NOT something to build your marriage around.

 When you consider a biblical perspective, what we now consider “love” had NOTHING to do with marriage during the time that the Bible was written. The Lord told wives to submit to their husbands and for husbands to be so committed to their wives that they would lay down their lives during a time when marriages were arranged!

 Can you imagine being married to a man that you met on your wedding day and being told by the Lord to love them?! You cant imagine can you? That is because our definition of love is SO wrong!
Love is not something that you can fall in and out of. If that were the case it would depend on the day whether the Lord loved us or not! You see terms in Corinthians such as “love ALWAYS” ending with “it DOES NOT FAIL”. Quite contrary to the “I’ve fallen out of love” or “I just don’t have passion for you any more”!

 If you are sitting, reading this blog, and there is an emptiness in you, a need and a desire for something deeper, for passion, for fulfillment and you are looking to your spouse to fill those roles, you are going to be let down. There is only ONE man who can fulfill you, only ONE relationship that can complete you on the deepest levels and that is Christ. If you are searching those things out in your spouse, you are putting them in the role of your functional savior, a role that they can’t even begin to fill.

 Your relationship with Christ needs to be one that you are complete in Him, needing nothing from your spouse to make you truly happy. When there is no passion in your marriage, there is passion in Christ. When companionship is lacking, there is companionship with Christ. When YOU are lacking in your role(which I promise you, you are) the Lord is graceful and shines through in those moments.
A marriage that works is one where Christ is the center of both parties and center of the marriage. When you are lacking your partner exercises a Christ kind of love and loves you when you don’t deserve it because love is patient, kind and does NOT fail.

 The love we are called to as Christians is not an emotion, it is an action. An action that we must choose to make all the time. Love is not something that you fall in and out of, it is not butterflies and it is not passion. Love is being kind when the person doesn’t deserve it. Love is protecting someone who has hurt you. Love is trusting, that even in a marriage where you can’t stand your spouse, that the Lord will be faithful to fix, repair and fulfill as long as you are willing to take the actions of love, even when you don’t have the feelings of lust.

Without a Christ kind of love, the action, your marriage will fail.