My relationship.......The Fifties Sitcom?

 

 



A look at Submission and Leadership

　

"Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church, He Himself being the Savior of the body. But as the church is subject to Christ, so also the wives ought to be to their husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her; that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, that He might present to Himself the church in all her glory, having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing; but that she should be holy and blameless. So husbands ought also to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself; for no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ also does the church, because we are members of His body. For this cause a man shall leave his father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife; and the two shall become one flesh. This mystery is great; but I am speaking with reference to Christ and the church. Nevertheless let each individual among you also love his own wife even as himself; and let the wife see to it that she respect her husband." Ephesians 5:22-32

Ya know.... This has got to be one of the most difficult pieces of scripture for men and women of today to apply to thier lives. The whole idea of Headship and submission is almost taboo in todays culture. This is one of those sections that is blown off because "its out of date and doesnt apply to today." When you say "head of house" you think of some fat guy in a wife beater that doesnt allow his wife out of the house, and when you say "submission" you think of a stupid, mindless woman who isnt allowed to speak and is only good for baby making. This is not a Biblical representation of Leadership and submission!

The man is head of the family as a representation of Christ's headship over the Church, he is to love his wife as Christ loved the church. If you remember correctly Christ died on the cross for the church, so thats not a little love, thats a BIG love! The Husband is not to be mean spirited and lay down laws just because he can, he is to lovingly and prayerfully consider what is best for his wife and family and act accordingly.

Just as the man is a representation of Christ, the wife is the representation of the church. The church is to faithfully submit to the Lords will, trusting that the Lord will make the best decisions for His people. The church steps out in faith, trusting the Lord. The wife is to trust that her husband wont be making decsions out of his flesh, but out of his relationship with the Lord. Really, the wifes faith in her husband is a reflection of her faith in God. If the wife trusts that the Lord will take care of her, especially if she is following the Word by submitting to her husband, then she will submit, knowing that even if her husband screws up, they Lord will be faithful to take care of her.

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A few months ago I got a call from a friend who was having issues in his marriage. His wife had recently discovered the "party scene" and in a short amount of time had not only had a severe personality change, but she had also had a few small accidents driving home drunk. He was at a loss for what to do. He didnt want for her to think he was trying to be controling or domineering, but he also didnt want her to die in a car accident, or kill someone else! He was searching for answers, so he called me:

Barry: I just dont know what to do.

Me : You know, Barry, the Word calls you, as the husband, to be head of the household. YOU are responsible for your wife and her actions, not only here, but on the Day of judgment before the Lord. You need to step up into your leadership and lay down some law!

Barry: I dont like that, Im not her dad, I dont want to be a controlling jerk.

Me: Is telling your wife that you dont want her out drinking anymore, because you are worried about her life, a mean and domineering thing?

Barry: ..........Well, no. But......

Me: Do you love her?

Barry: Well, yeah!

Me: Is she making good decisions right now about partying?

Barry: Well, no, but I cant just say "Youre not allowed to go out because I said so!"

Me: Ha! No, no thats not what to say. This is the differance between loving leadership and dinkish dictatorship! Do you think that God is being a controling jerk when he tells us in the Bible to stay away from something? Or does does Jesus lovingly say, "You have to make the decision, but I am telling you to stay away from it because it will harm you."? When you talk to your wife it needs to be an explanation of your love, she needs to see that you are laying down lines because you love her and you are worried for her safety. THAT is what it means to be a Biblical, Christ like, leader of your family.

You see, Barry had fallen into this idea our society has, that he couldnt say anything to his wife because it was domineering. I submit to you husbands, that if you are seeking the Lords will and making decisons for your family based on a sincere love for them and the Lord, then your wife will have no problem submitting.

There is this crazy idea in todays world that men and women are the same, which is not the case! Equal, yes. The same, NO WAY! The Bible tells us in 1Peter 3:7, "In the same way, you husbands must give honor to your wives. Treat your wife with understanding as you live together. She may be weaker than you are, but she is your equal partner in God's gift of new life. Treat her as you should so your prayers will not be hindered."

The Lord made us differantly! He made the men to be strong, protective leaders and He made women to be soft, emotionally intune care takers. You notice men, that you are told to be understanding of the fact that your wife is weaker then you, and with that in mind, treat her as an equal. It takes both of these sets to make a family run. You need a man to be all buisness, bring home the bacon and take care of the car and house. While you need the woman to use that God given gift of kindness and compassion to raise the children and take care of her tired and worn out hubby at the end of the day. Two puzzle pieces, completly differant in shape, but made to complete one another.

While the Lord gave men the need to provide, he also gave women a need to be provided for! There is a reason that little girls naturally go towards babydolls and cinderella stories. The Lord instilled within us a great need and desire to be loved, provided for and treated like a precious gem! The issue has become our society; women have been treated like crap by men who have abused thier roll as head of household, have been neglected by men who refuse to grow up, and sexually abused by a media that insists that woman are only as good as thier dress size and how good they are in bed.

At some point, women stopped relying on men because they couldnt anymore. They had been so abused that they had to stand on thier own two feet, alone. While it is good that women have a strength within them to pick up not one, but two rolls in the family, it is sad that not only has this become the norm, but it has hindered women who are blessed enough to have good husbands, from submitting. Women feel that they are some how being weak or betraying thier sex by letting a man take care of them.

This causes so many issues in a marriage. The man has a NEED to be a provider, and when a wife refuses to be provided for because she doesnt want to be percived as weak or vunerable, she is demasculating her husband, stripping him of his God given purpous, which leads him to resent his wife. Likewise, while the wife insists that she wants to be the bread winner, but deep down she is angry that her husband has not been the strong leader and has not been fufilling her natural desire to be taken care of. So now you have a Marriage where both spouses resent one another but niether will address it, because he doesnt want to strip her of what she "wants" and she doesnt want to admit to what is percieved in our culture as a weekness. And round and round they go where they stop..... I know, and its not happily ever after.

So women, I beg you, look at your marriage. Are you submitting to your husband? Are you allowing him to fufill his God given need to be leader and provider? Pray about it! Ask the Lord to show you areas where you are not in submission. When you know where those areas are, go to your hubby and apologize, tell him that you NEED him to lead, that you WANT him to lead. Let go of these silly ideas that we hold that we are weak because we let our husband take care of us. The Lord instilled in you a desire to be taken care of, let your husband fufill that for you! Are there areas that you wish he would step up and be a leader but he hasnt? Ask him too! I promise you, given the honest opprotunity, he wont dissapoint!

Men, are you taking your role seriously? Are you taking your family to church? When you "lay down the law" is it done lovingly? Are you monitarily providing? Are you spiritually feeding you family? Are you letting the Lord lead you? Prayerfully consider all of these things asking the Lord to show you where your leadership is lacking and asking Him to lead you in all of your leadership decisions.

　

He who finds a wife finds what is good
and receives favor from the LORD.

Proverbs 18:22

The Peanut Gallery

The importance of having a GODLY support system

A few Years ago my mother-in-law was in a crumbling marriage. She would come to her family and friends to talk about her marriage issues, and since none of us liked the guy anyways we would goad her on. We would tell her what a looser he was, that she deserved better. We would repeatedly hash out all of the idiotic things he did and character flaws that he had. We stood there as if on the side of a boxing ring cheering her on as she beat on her opponent, even screaming tips on how to best take him down. Eventually she finished it by divorcing her husband, much to the chagrin of her friends and family. We all patted her on the back and congratulated her on her "victory", none of us caring to realize how beat up she was.

A few months later it came out that she was seeing him again, hiding the relationship from us all. We were all frustrated and angry. We couldn’t believe that after all the crap that we had all gone through in dealing with their relationship and divorce, that she would go back to him.

When confronted she would say, "But were going to church!"

To which we would respond, "Yeah sure, we'll see how long that lasts, just long enough for him to move back in! Don’t bring him around us, we want nothing to do with this relationship!"

6 more months passed and we get word that they are getting remarried. None of us were happy. She had asked us all to come and we were plotting how we would protest. We were thinking of doing horrible things, like all going, wearing black and walking out in the middle of the ceremony. But the final decision was that no one was going to go.

Both my husband and I were so angry at the situation, but as we had time to sit with it, we started to get heavy hearts. After talking about it we decided that the Lord was telling us we needed to go. I wanted so badly to fight God on this! I would go, but I wasn’t going to like it, and I would let everyone know as much!!!!

Well, God wasn’t about to let me off the hook that easily! I was praying, "God WHY?!!?! Why why why?!" Boy, I was NOT prepared for what I got next.

"They are getting married whether you are there or not, and once they are married, it is your job as their sister in Christ to hold them accountable to the oath and commitment they are making to ME."

....................Don’t you hate it when God spanks you? Man, did I have some repenting to do! For years I had bashed on their marriage, told her to leave, encouraged her when she was being a bad wife and was mad when she was restoring her marriage as the Lord would want her to do! I had been hindering the Lords work and I had been wrong.

So we went to that wedding. My husband, our two girls and I were the only family that she had there. My husband gave his mother away and we all cried. After the ceremony I had to go to both of them and repent for my part in their divorce, asking for their forgiveness and promising that from here on out I would be a champion of their marriage and that I would help hold them accountable to God for the Vows they made to Him.

You see, a good support system is so important to your marriage. Had she had people around her from the start pointing her to the Word, praying for the health and strength of her marriage and working with her to preserve it, I highly doubt that they would have gotten divorced in the first place. Instead when she came to us she would be encouraged to be disrespectful, hatful and angry towards her husband.

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"Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. Then they can urge the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God." - Titus 2:3-5

I have to laugh at this a little because it is not our tendency to look for advice from someone who will tell us when were wrong! We tend to look for people who agree with us, people who will be on our side. The Lords will for us is to have people around us who will tell us, lovingly, when we need to stop and look at the Word.

In this vein, part of my promise to my mother-in-law was that when she came to us with problems in her marriage, instead of talking about what her husband did wrong, I would ask her what her part in the problem was and what SHE could be doing better. I would refuse to fuel her fire.

More often than not when we are with our peanut gallery we are looking for them cheer us on and to agree with us when we talk about that stupid things our spouse does/did that gets our blood boiling. We want for them to be on our team, the problem with this is that instead of helping the person, you are really hurting them.

Look at marriage as a house. A married couple lives in that house and has a really bad habit of starting little fires. Most fires the couple can handle themselves and put out, but occasionally there is a fire that they need help with. This is when they run to their neighbors for help. Some neighbors will come with fire extinguishers and others will come with gasoline. Who do you want to help save that house?

You’re thinking, "Well, duh! Get away from my house with gasoline!!!!" It seems so simple when you think about it that way, but the reality is that friends who goad you on when you’re fighting, friends that tell you to leave, they are gasoline to your house and you’re standing back asking for them to add more!!

Take account of your friends, do you have friends that get in on the action when you are mucking about your spouse? Do you have friends that use the word "divorce", that tell you to leave? These tend to be friends that are single or have a miserable marriage themselves. STAY AWAY from these people for marital advice! Your single friends tend not to understand married life and they would love for you to be single again, out on the town with them. And you know that saying, "misery loves company"? Well that is true for your friends who are in a bad marital situation. They tend to want to commiserate with you about how horrible marriage is and how horrible your spouses are. These are NOT people who you want to be getting marital advice from! That’s like going to the homeless guy and asking him for financial advice!

Now I want you to think about how many people you have around you that try to nurture and cultivate your marriage. How many Godly people do you have around you that listen when you muck and then lovingly point out YOUR faults? How many friends do you have that will pray with you about your marriage? How many friends do you have, that when you ask "Can I stay here for the night?!" Turn you away and tell you to stop running from your problems? THESE few people are the ones that you need to go to for marital issues!

I will never forget something a pastor said once when talking about marriage, he suggested that your spouse approve the list of people in your peanut gallery. The idea being here that your spouse will know that the person you are going to for advice has their head on straight and will be giving you good, godly advice. This works on so many levels! Not only will you have people on your list that will give you good advice, but YOU can be confident that the person your spouse is going to will be giving them good advice. You won’t have to worry that Derek Drinksalot will be telling your hubby to leave, or that Patty Partyhard will be telling wifey that she would have so much more fun at the club then with you! It truly takes a whole layer of stress out of those big arguments. You can have peace in knowing that your spouse will come back to you with a firm dose of the Word.

Here’s the really big question, what type of friend are you!? Pray about this! I promise you that you do NOT want to realize upon a friends divorce that you could have been the difference in their marriage. I encourage you to give the kind of advice that you would want someone to be giving to your spouse.

Be in prayer; seek the Lords guidance on who He would have you go to for marital advice. Choose wisely the people in your peanut gallery; remember that the difference between a fire extinguisher and gasoline is huge!

Love is an ACTION Word

I just want to start by saying that this is written from frustrations and sadness. I look around and I see marriages broken, families fractured all because we have changed love from an action into a feeling. We, as a society, have forgotten the parts of the vows that say "for better or worse". I recently heard one woman say that the reason for leaving her marriage was because shes "didn't feel passion" for her husband any more...... WHAT!? This isn't what the Bible tells us! But besides being frustrated, I'm broken hearted. So many broken hearts, dreams and family's because of this "love"ly lie. So any ways. Here is my view on the matter.

We all know 1 Corinthians 13: 4-7. Paul lays out for us the traits of love; Patients, kindness, it does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. It does not fail.

 All of these traits are not things that we as humans cant fully accomplish on our own. Paul here isn’t describing how he feels about a Woman, or what he is hoping for in an earthly relationship some day. He is telling us about the perfect love of our Savior. A love that He fills us with and we are able to exhibit once we are filled with the Holy Spirit. This is important because without a Christ kind of love it is impossible to forgive, submit, lead, be selfless, ect.

 Its important as we talk about marriage to look at love from a Biblical perspective. We live in a culture that has confused Lust with Love, a culture that has made Love an emotion. When we look at 1 Corinthians 13 we see that love does things, love is an action.

 We want so desperately to have “passion” and “butterflies” when the reality is that those things are fleeting and fit more soundly under the heading of “lust”. Don’t get me wrong! It is good to lust after you SPOUSE, but it is NOT something to build your marriage around.

 When you consider a biblical perspective, what we now consider “love” had NOTHING to do with marriage during the time that the Bible was written. The Lord told wives to submit to their husbands and for husbands to be so committed to their wives that they would lay down their lives during a time when marriages were arranged!

 Can you imagine being married to a man that you met on your wedding day and being told by the Lord to love them?! You cant imagine can you? That is because our definition of love is SO wrong!
Love is not something that you can fall in and out of. If that were the case it would depend on the day whether the Lord loved us or not! You see terms in Corinthians such as “love ALWAYS” ending with “it DOES NOT FAIL”. Quite contrary to the “I’ve fallen out of love” or “I just don’t have passion for you any more”!

 If you are sitting, reading this blog, and there is an emptiness in you, a need and a desire for something deeper, for passion, for fulfillment and you are looking to your spouse to fill those roles, you are going to be let down. There is only ONE man who can fulfill you, only ONE relationship that can complete you on the deepest levels and that is Christ. If you are searching those things out in your spouse, you are putting them in the role of your functional savior, a role that they can’t even begin to fill.

 Your relationship with Christ needs to be one that you are complete in Him, needing nothing from your spouse to make you truly happy. When there is no passion in your marriage, there is passion in Christ. When companionship is lacking, there is companionship with Christ. When YOU are lacking in your role(which I promise you, you are) the Lord is graceful and shines through in those moments.
A marriage that works is one where Christ is the center of both parties and center of the marriage. When you are lacking your partner exercises a Christ kind of love and loves you when you don’t deserve it because love is patient, kind and does NOT fail.

 The love we are called to as Christians is not an emotion, it is an action. An action that we must choose to make all the time. Love is not something that you fall in and out of, it is not butterflies and it is not passion. Love is being kind when the person doesn’t deserve it. Love is protecting someone who has hurt you. Love is trusting, that even in a marriage where you can’t stand your spouse, that the Lord will be faithful to fix, repair and fulfill as long as you are willing to take the actions of love, even when you don’t have the feelings of lust.

Without a Christ kind of love, the action, your marriage will fail.

Prodigal? Back Slidden? Decieved.

Matt 7: 21-23
21 “Not everyone who says to Me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ shall enter the kingdom of heaven, but he who does the will of My Father in heaven. 22 Many will say to Me in that day, ‘Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in Your name, cast out demons in Your name, and done many wonders in Your name?’ 23 And then I will declare to them, ‘I never knew you; depart from Me, you who practice lawlessness!’

In many conversations with many different people this topic keeps popping up, the "carnal christian". Even one of my favorite pastors, a self proclaimed Calvinist, has been sounding an awful lot like a Arminian lately as he has preached on this. Don't get me wrong, this has NOTHING to do with John Calvin vs Jacobus Arminius, so please, lets not go there! This has to do with the question, "can Christians go to hell?"

The Word very clearly tells us that once we become a Christian that we cannot "fall out of grace". "My Father, who has given them to me, is greater than all, and no one is able to snatch them out of the Father’s hand."(John 10:29)

So what about Matt 7 then?

Who casts out demons but Christians?

Aren't those two ideas contradictory?

Well, all through out the Bible it tells us to beware of wolves in sheep's clothing and that they will "have a form of godliness but deny its power."(2 Tim) The Word tells us "Do not be deceived; neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor homosexuals, nor thieves, nor the covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers, shall inherit the kingdom of God."(1 Corinthians 6:9-10) "Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says. 23 Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like someone who looks at his face in a mirror 24 and, after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like."(James 1:22-24) "The profess to know God, but they deny him by their works. They are detestable, disobedient, unfit for any good works,"(Titus 1:16)

So what does that say to us? That we can be deceived into thinking that we are saved, we can even have the appearance of Godliness and not be saved. How does that happen? How does a person think that they are saved and not be? How could it be that two life long members of a church, both deacons, are cleaning up after Sunday service and one goes up in the Rapture and the other is left behind?

If I said the prayer I'm saved right?

Well, its a bit more complicated then that. There is no magic incantation that you can say that will grant you access to heaven. Just because you have a card that you filled out at summer camp that says "So and so was Saved on this day" doesn't mean its your ticket in. Being baptized as a baby doesn't mean you don't have to think about eternity until your standing at the pearly gates. Salvation is a heart issue. Salvation is a choice. I liken it to little Sally who hit little Johnny and her mommy made her say sorry. Little Sally crosses her arms, kicks the dirt, and with as much attitude as she could muster and without making eye contact she says "sorry". Was Sally sorry? Obviously not! She just didn't want a whoopin from mumma! The same goes with Salvation; raising your hand or going down front because of peer pressure, or to impress the opposite sex, or to shut up who ever has been harping you about Jesus, or simply because you have gone to church your entire life does NOT make your a Christian. Repentance does.

Having a point in time where the Lord has broken you and you come to Him with a heart that is broken for the wretch that you are, a heart that is willing to be given completely over to the Lord and you ask Him to take it and transform you into a new being(Ephesians 4:24), THAT is a heart that has accepted Jesus. The Word tells us in 1 Chronicles 28:9 that "the Lord searches every heart and understands every motive behind the thoughts". Obviously we cannot know or judge the salvation of anyone, The Lord is the only one who can do that.

So whats the point of this? If you cant judge a persons salvation why even bother with this whole Topic? Well, two reasons. First of all so that we can look at ourselves and question our own walk, so that we are not deceived. The second, is because we can judge fruit. Then we can take the words of 2 Timothy 4 and Matt 18 and apply them:

"Preach the word; be prepared in season and out of season; correct, rebuke and encourage—with great patience and careful instruction. 3 For the time will come when people will not put up with sound doctrine. Instead, to suit their own desires, they will gather around them a great number of teachers to say what their itching ears want to hear. 4 They will turn their ears away from the truth and turn aside to myths." (2Tim)

 “If your brother or sister sins, go and point out their fault, just between the two of you. If they listen to you, you have won them over. But if they will not listen, take one or two others along, so that ‘every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.If they still refuse to listen, tell it to the church; and if they refuse to listen even to the church, treat them as you would a pagan or a tax collector." (Matt 18)

Let me just come out and say it, I am terrified for certain people in my life. I look at them and I see men and women who are fooled. They know the Bible, they go to church, some are even heavily involved, yet I see no fruit in their lives, absolutely no growth. I see people who have continued down the same path that they were on when the came to the Lord 15 years ago. Don't get me wrong, NO ONE is perfect, we all have our issues that the Lord is working through and will continue too until the day that we die. BUT its too easy to simply say that they are back slidden or prodigal. Really? Was there ever progress that they backslid from? Or are they really prodigal? Because if they were, they would come BACK. Or is it the more sinister?

The words in 1 John have been haunting me for months:

"They went out from us, but they did not really belong to us. For if they had belonged to us, they would have remained with us; but their going showed that none of them belonged to us. "(1John 2:19)

Brothers and Sisters, i don't NOT want this to be me or you! There should be NO question mark above us(Saved?) it should be an explanation point!(Saved!) Our lives need to be full of fruit. We are the salt and light to the earth(Matt5) and people should KNOW us by our fruit(Matt7)! Look at your life. Do you have a thirst and Hunger for the Word? Do you have a desire to walk closer to God? Are you a NEW BEING(Colossians 3:10) or are you still doing all the same old crap that you were before(or worse, even deeper in sin)?

I challenge you too look at your life, at your heart. Where are you at in your walk with God? Do you even HAVE a walk with God? Brothers and sisters we are CALLED to "work out our salvation with fear and trembling"(Philippians 2)! Do that now! Do NOT be deceived!

So what, you can win bible trivia, you even have great doctrine; it all means jack crap if you don't have a relationship with the Lord that is changing you and transforming you!

Are you prodigal, are you back slidden? PROVE IT, get your happy butt back into a relationship with the Lord, BE IN THE WORD!

Revelation 3:15 - 22

"15 I know your deeds, that you are neither cold nor hot. I wish you were either one or the other! 16 So, because you are lukewarm—neither hot nor cold—I am about to spit you out of my mouth. 17 You say, ‘I am rich; I have acquired wealth and do not need a thing.’ But you do not realize that you are wretched, pitiful, poor, blind and naked. 18 I counsel you to buy from me gold refined in the fire, so you can become rich; and white clothes to wear, so you can cover your shameful nakedness; and salve to put on your eyes, so you can see.
19 Those whom I love I rebuke and discipline. So be earnest and repent. 20 Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with that person, and they with me.
21 To the one who is victorious, I will give the right to sit with me on my throne, just as I was victorious and sat down with my Father on his throne. 22 Whoever has ears, let them hear what the Spirit says to the churches.”

I REFUSE to be spit out of the Lords mouth! I will be hot, BOILING even! Let it be known by the things that come out of our mouths(or the things that don't!) and by the things that we do and don't do that we are SET APART, that we are the Lords. Let there be no question about who we serve by others or by ourselves!

Let me be blunt, if you aren't offending some one by your walk or beliefs, if people are surprised when you tell them that you go to church, YOU ARE DOING SOMETHING WRONG.

“If the world hates you, keep in mind that it hated me first. If you belonged to the world, it would love you as its own. As it is, you do not belong to the world, but I have chosen you out of the world. That is why the world hates you. Remember the words I spoke to you: ‘No servant is greater than his master.’ If they persecuted me, they will persecute you also. If they obeyed my teaching, they will obey yours also. They will treat you this way because of my name, for they do not know the One who sent me." (John 15:18-21)

I end with this Brothers and sisters, we are branches of the True Vine and the Lord says that any branch out of Him that does not bear fruit, the FATHER will take away. Work out your salvation with fear and trembling, do not be an unfruitful vine, do not be lukewarm and most importantly if you are those thing DO NOT BE DECEIVED. Time is short, surrender to the Lord and let there be no question in you mind or anyone elses that you are set apart!

“I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener. He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful. You are already clean because of the word I have spoken to you. Remain in me, and I will remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me.
“I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing. If anyone does not remain in me, he is like a branch that is thrown away and withers; such branches are picked up, thrown into the fire and burned. If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be given you. This is to my Father’s glory, that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be my disciples." (John 15:1-8)